Knitted A Husband

Debbie Rowe, the kids mother said that the children aren't biologically his which is not surprising. I have never doubted that he ever wanted children that looked like him before all his plastic surgery and skin lightening.

But here is what I noticed after watching footage of his kids. They were very blond when they were younger and now all of them have just plain brown hair. I saw footage today a glimpse of the top of one of their head when they were blond and I saw roots. Really dark choppy roots like when you are a bleach blond with dark hair.

WTF was he doing to these kids... bleaching their hair from the time they were toddlers? Why is it they brought all these child molesting charges against him but never thought to bring Child Protective Services for these children who were in some sort of danger. Bred so he could buy the perfect little lover. There. I said it.

Leo Felton must have been Dave Chapelle's inspiration for The Black Ku Klux Klan leader sketch on his Comedy Central show.

Leo Felton born to a white mother and a mixed race father who considers himself to be black, became a White Supremacist. He even went as far as to have the word "skinhead" inked into his shaved scalp in inch-high Gothic letters.

It's not that he didn't know his father or know his racial make up. Not only was Leo teased as a kid for being mixed, when his father divorced his mother after two years, he married a black woman and had Leo's half siblings, five brother's and two sisters.

So his mother, who was a nun for seventeen years, married a black man and then became a lesbian living with a Jewish partner. What would make him turn into a nutbar that claims he is 1/4 English and 3/4 Italian and down with White Power?

The world is full of crazies.



Leo's Father Calvin Felton

What can I say... it's true.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Yesterday I took Cookie to go see Sita Sings The Blues at The Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville PA. It's the same place where they filmed the 1958 film The Blob and where they conduct a Blobfest every year where they reenact the famous scene.

The movie was great. It's the story of Sita and Rama, written about in the Ramayan. Basically when Rama and Sita were banished from Ayodhya for 14 years to the forest Sita gets stolen by the Demon King, Ravana. He takes her captive on his island Lanka and tells her that she has two months and if she does not give in to share his bed and become his wife she will be chopped up and made into a stew. She gets rescued by Rama but is then rejected by him when the village doubts her purity after being with Ravana for that long. He forgives her but then when they find out she is pregnant he doubts her again and banishes her to the woods. She gives birth to twins, Lav and Kush, in a hut with the sage Valmiki, where they grow up learning songs praising Rama. When Rama finds her again he says she can return only if she performs a last test of her purity.

The movie is made with 1920's songs by Annette Hanshaw. Nina Paley's animation and Hashaw's songs are a perfect marriage.



There are two other features in this film. There is a narration by three characters that are animated by shadow puppets. They are just three folks trying to tell what they know about the story of Rama and Sita. They are very funny. Then there is scribbles animation style which shows Nina Paley's story of love woes with her husband Dave who went to India for a few months for a job but ended up wanting to stay and dumping Nina.

It's a great film and if it's in your area I would say watch it. It's great for everyone and I loved that everyone in the theater couldn't help but laugh out loud, included my Cookie who hasn't stopped talking about the movie.

For those of you in NEW YORK: They will be giving the movies on PBS 13 on Saturday March 7th at 10:45pm on Reel13.

Cookie has been singing the songs all weekend long. Yeah, me too. Can't help it. They are catchy. YouTube has four of the songs and you can watch them in order HERE.

Had he checked the website he would have seen it wasn't the right Divine Trash. David Clack posted on FHM.com that DivineTrash.com was a virtual clothing store and was listed #10 on the list of 100 of the best places to shop. Who he really meant was DivineTrash.co.uk

But hey if I actually got my store up and running I might have some accidental but good traffic flowing my way. I should get up on that before they realize their mistake.

The reason Sarah Conner was in the mental institution was really because she couldn't handle the reality of her predicament. Before her affair with Kyle Reese Sarah had a one night stand with the Terminator. John Conner is actually a bi-paternal twin. Not only was the Terminator upset with the heteropaternal superfecundation but was abandoned by his mother and is the real reason he was trying to kill Sarah and John Connor. Little did he know that he was not only the son but also the father! Time travel is a bitch.

The only picture he had of his childhood was this picture with him and his foster brothers from the Harlan Ellison Orphanage.

From The Anti Soccer Mom:

Men are funny, when it comes to dating. They pretend not to like single moms “Too much baggage” they claim.

What It Takes To Date A Woman With Kids

*Single mom’s aren’t easy. Just because we put out before, doesnt mean we are automatically going to do it again. Don’t rescue us, we can rescue ourselves, just be patient, treat us with respect, and get a grip on your hormones.

Yeah dude. I'm not sharing my cookies unless you buy me a cow that's gonna give me milk. (Yeah I'm done with the buy the cow metaphor. I'm no cow.)

*A parents priority is different than a non-parent priorities. We do things all crazy-like such as getting to bed by ten in order to get enough sleep for the upcoming wreck of a day. We can’t go out to the bar on a whim, and finding a good babysitter is like finding the perfect man. If we had that, we wouldn't need you.

Change that bedtime from 10 to 8 and there you have me.

*Single moms are too busy to play bullshit games. She will give it to you straight, tell you just what she thinks of you, and skip the playground altogether.

Werd. I've got no time for it, as the last guy I tried to date found out. He was tossed out very quickly when it was clear that even though my kid is six he was younger than her.

Stephanie had a little to say about dating men with kids.

I have a little experience with that too since that last guy I was dating also had a kid. But he was a bigger child than his kid. Too needy and even though he had a kid he didn't have him full time and still didn't understand my roll as full time mom who didn't have time or a sitter when he had a whim. Besides he didn't understand about the cookies either.

Single, married or single dad they all want you to give up your cookies and throw a tantrum when they can't have any.

Come on baby, let's kiss under a parasitic poisonous vine. Give me smooches.

I hate that sanctioned means either authoritative approval or to penalize. Seriously, make up your mind. Either be a positive or a negative. Mary Alice Renner has been sanctioned by the Committee for the Vanquishment of Hairy Men in Wife Beaters yesterday... Hate her or love her? Don't make me read the whole article to find out.

So question, when you burn the roof of your mouth do you swallow the burned skin or peel it out of your mouth?

I just burnt the roof of my mouth with the pizza I was eating because even though the outside was cool the lava they call sauce was burning like a yeast infection. (I'm was reading bad metaphors on a stumble and thought I had to make one of my own)

Another question, why the hell does the roof of my mouth peel like a tomato but my tongue is fine? I mean shouldn't my whole entire mouth be made out of what ever skin quality my tongue is made out of so that we don't keep having this problem. Because I love my food really hot. Tepid food is not an option.

But for that matter why the hell is our whole body not made out of whatever skins our tongue is made out of. It really makes sense to do that. Someone needs to genetically engineer some animal to figure out how to make this happen. I'm sick of minor burns.

And others avoid 9/11. I am a combination of avoider and obsesser. For some reason I didn't want to be on the internet at all yesterday but I did find myself flipping though the channels looking for 9/11 content. This year I found a huge decrease in content which at first was a relief, then I was upset and very annoyed. Has it gotten to that point already when it's just becoming one of those tragedies you heard about in class?

Even when she is just taking a guess. She comes into the room and says, You know, tarantulas live to be 30 years. I nod and say, Oh yeah. Where'd you hear that? She says, No where. I made it up. Can we look look it up and see how long they live?

According to Wiki Answers:

Tarantulas that can live for twenty years, and even one species has been known to survive over thirty years in captivity.

Pretty good guess I say.

And when it started to rain in the movie the sky got dark outside my window and guess what... yep, it started to rain. How's that for coincidence?

Rings from Ireland


Corrib Claddagh Solitaire with Diamonds in 14k Gold


Double Trinity Solitaire


Celtic Warrior Wedding Band-Diamond Set


Gra Dilseacht Cairdeas Wedding Band - 'Love Loyalty Friendship'


An Ri Wedding Band

If you think they are hot, if they think you are hot at some point you are just going to get it on. Plain and simple. And if one isn't attracted to the other one person is always fine while the other is a wreck and at times a pain in the ass. They will be getting a lot of the sympathetic pat on the shoulder. That seriously sucks. They only way you can truely be friends if you both look at each other and think, Ugh, I never want to see them nekkid. And even then you know the dude is thinking, Well, if I'm drunk and it's completely dark.


How To Be "Just Friends"

So I'm was on my way to to park, as I do every afternoon, to take Cookie to meet and play with her friends. I see a cop car driving in the opposite direction when I am turning on to the street the park is on. I wasn't paying on mind but then I noticed the car behind me is really close. Then I realize it's the cop car. I look down at my speedometer and see I am doing 48 in a 45 so I slow down to about 41 just to be safe. He kicks back and stops riding my bumper. I turn at the park, slipping into a spot and wave at our friends at the basketball court. She points that she is going over to the jungle gym so I drive over to a closer parking spot. I see that at the entrance of the park the cop is still there watching me. I know that he is watching me because the huge ass park is completely empty except for me, Cookie and Jackie and Anthony. Since he didn't follow them to the park I will assume he is keeping watch on me.

As Cookie and I exit our car he backs out and drives away.

Yeah, I am so dangerous in my 95 Toyota Corolla, filled with toys and shoes in the backseat and a six year old in tow. And besides the fact that I am a itty bitty chick that can barely see over the wheel.

What the hell was he following me for? Is is so safe that they have to create criminals out of suburban (that's right, I'm suburban now) black folk? Kiss my ass.

If I was some blanca barbie blond driving my same car he would have never even blinked. I should be used to it by now, right? At a store I've been told to "check my bag" which is obviously a purse while some hasidic jewish lady walks past with a "purse" large enough to carry out a full sized ham. I even got yelled at in the Family Dollar once because Cookie, who was three at the time, didn't want to check her purse that was filled with her baby and it's things. The manager was uber white and a complete idiot. Not only did he see me like twice a week buying toys for my kid but I bought at least twenty dollars of Family Dollar crap each time. But yet I'm going to steal a dollar toy?

I've even be asked to leave at a lingerie shop because I was "taking too long". Oh and I was young and black while shopping. I felt like doing a Pretty Woman and coming back with bags and bags and shite saying, You people work on commission, right? Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.

So today I say, FUCK THE PO-PO! Screw your racial profiling... Kiss my sweet ass.

Thank You and Goodnight.

Oh and here's what Wanda Sykes said about it in her book Yeah I Said It:

We are all guilty of profiling. If you see a white man running, you think, He must be late for a meeting or something. Hey out of his way. When you see a black man running, you think, Who's he running from? What did he do? I'm calling the cops. Hey, somebody stop his black ass.

When I go into a store, I don't even chew gum 'cause I'm scared they're gonna think I took it.

Manager: What's in your mouth?
Me: Bubble Yum.
Manager: We sell Bubble Yum. Officer!

I've left stuff and told Cookie to leave dollar store cheap shite in the car even when we are going to a "fancy" store because I don't want to be accused of stealing.

I don't care what anyone says... it's hot.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.

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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.

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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

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I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.

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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like
I am now.

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net